Be Visible
>> Wednesday, March 10, 2010 –
Big Family,
Faith,
family,
Mothering
We really like to take our family out in public as often as possible. Sure, sometimes it can be inconvenient. Sure, sometimes just getting everyone out the door takes a major effort. But, we truly believe that if God wants our family to be a witness in the world, then we need to be visible.
It isn't always easy. We tend to look like a camp. Or maybe a circus. People stare. They make comments. Sometimes they point. Sometimes they laugh. They almost always count. And I have yet to go somewhere and not be asked "Are they all yours?"
These things comes with the territory. It is expected. I am used to it. I don't always like it. Sometimes people are mean. At times they are very kind. Of course we wish we could just go somewhere and not be noticed. It would be nice to be like everyone else.
But, I know that being visible is a testimony of what God has done in our family.
It gives us so many opportunities to tell people about adoption. But, even greater, we get to share our faith with complete strangers. We get to tell them about God and what He has done through our family. An opportunity we may not have had if we had hidden ourselves away for fear of standing out.
Our diversity often draws attention. It has been negative at times. And I won't lie, that can be very hard. But, it has also opened doors for us to form relationships with people we may not have otherwise. It has also allowed us to cross a racial boundary that is very prevalent where we currently live. I have had some amazing conversations occur, simply because our family is diverse.
Not too long ago we were eating in a sub shop with our family. It was kid's eat free night {Oh YEAH!}. As we sat eating, we of course got all kinds of looks. But, one young man in particular really caught my eye. He was an African American man, maybe in his early 20's. He spent the better part of 30 minutes staring at J-man while the Rockstar helped him eat his sandwich.
I quietly pointed him out to the Rockstar and we both mentally prepared ourselves that it may not end well. Sadly, we have had a couple of pretty awful experiences in the past. We waited to see what was going to happen, but the young man just continued to stare. I tried very hard to carry on as usual , eating, chatting with the kids, and enjoying our time out {as it is so rare}.
When the man was done eating, he got up and headed over to our table. My heart started pounding a little harder, not knowing what he was going to say. He walked right over to the Rockstar, placed his hand on his shoulder and leaned in and whispered " Not everyone thinks the same way. Not everyone sees things the same way. I am really moved watching you with your son." And with tears in his eyes, he walked out the door.
It was a moment where I know that God used our family. I am incredibly thankful for moments like that. And I hope someday to see that man in heaven and tell him how much his comment meant to me. He didn't have to say anything. But, he did. And I will forever remember it.
There are other reasons why being visible to others is important. So often people assume that big families are chaotic. Movies like "Cheaper By the Dozen" have not helped in giving that impression. Sure, it can be chaos at times. But, more often than not, our children are very well behaved in public. I find this to be true of most big families. Twice now we have had people buy our children desert because they were so impressed with their behavior. Our children are often complimented by strangers too.
Now before you go thinking they are perfect, they are far from it. But, it has been important to us to teach them from a young age how to behave in public. And the only way to do this, is to take them out. They need the experience to understand what is expected. Before we go anywhere we tell them what we expect. And we explain that because we are different, everyone is watching to see what we will do. They know that they need to be an example to others. Does this put pressure on them? Absolutely. A little pressure is good sometimes. I want them to glorify Jesus, even if we are sitting in a sub shop or walking through a Walmart.
I have taken all ten to the doctor {not always, but often}. All ten have gone to the dentist. Yes, we fill up the waiting room. Yes, we often get looked at like we are crazy. But, this is our life. This is our family. And we have to still do all of the things other families have to do. Sometimes that means all of us. No matter where we are , there is always an opportunity for our children to practice good behavior and an opportunity to be a light in this world.
When people see us, the message I hope they receive is that children are a blessing. So often in today's world, children are seen as a burden. They are not valued or desired. My prayer is that when we walk into a room, people's hearts will be changed. They will see that we value LIFE. And that life's greatest blessing is children. It is more important than ever that we share this message. I am willing to take the staring, criticism, and comments to share our treasures with the world. Because you just never know who is watching and who's heart may be forever changed just be us being visible.
It isn't always easy. We tend to look like a camp. Or maybe a circus. People stare. They make comments. Sometimes they point. Sometimes they laugh. They almost always count. And I have yet to go somewhere and not be asked "Are they all yours?"
These things comes with the territory. It is expected. I am used to it. I don't always like it. Sometimes people are mean. At times they are very kind. Of course we wish we could just go somewhere and not be noticed. It would be nice to be like everyone else.
But, I know that being visible is a testimony of what God has done in our family.
It gives us so many opportunities to tell people about adoption. But, even greater, we get to share our faith with complete strangers. We get to tell them about God and what He has done through our family. An opportunity we may not have had if we had hidden ourselves away for fear of standing out.
Our diversity often draws attention. It has been negative at times. And I won't lie, that can be very hard. But, it has also opened doors for us to form relationships with people we may not have otherwise. It has also allowed us to cross a racial boundary that is very prevalent where we currently live. I have had some amazing conversations occur, simply because our family is diverse.
Not too long ago we were eating in a sub shop with our family. It was kid's eat free night {Oh YEAH!}. As we sat eating, we of course got all kinds of looks. But, one young man in particular really caught my eye. He was an African American man, maybe in his early 20's. He spent the better part of 30 minutes staring at J-man while the Rockstar helped him eat his sandwich.
I quietly pointed him out to the Rockstar and we both mentally prepared ourselves that it may not end well. Sadly, we have had a couple of pretty awful experiences in the past. We waited to see what was going to happen, but the young man just continued to stare. I tried very hard to carry on as usual , eating, chatting with the kids, and enjoying our time out {as it is so rare}.
When the man was done eating, he got up and headed over to our table. My heart started pounding a little harder, not knowing what he was going to say. He walked right over to the Rockstar, placed his hand on his shoulder and leaned in and whispered " Not everyone thinks the same way. Not everyone sees things the same way. I am really moved watching you with your son." And with tears in his eyes, he walked out the door.
It was a moment where I know that God used our family. I am incredibly thankful for moments like that. And I hope someday to see that man in heaven and tell him how much his comment meant to me. He didn't have to say anything. But, he did. And I will forever remember it.
There are other reasons why being visible to others is important. So often people assume that big families are chaotic. Movies like "Cheaper By the Dozen" have not helped in giving that impression. Sure, it can be chaos at times. But, more often than not, our children are very well behaved in public. I find this to be true of most big families. Twice now we have had people buy our children desert because they were so impressed with their behavior. Our children are often complimented by strangers too.
Now before you go thinking they are perfect, they are far from it. But, it has been important to us to teach them from a young age how to behave in public. And the only way to do this, is to take them out. They need the experience to understand what is expected. Before we go anywhere we tell them what we expect. And we explain that because we are different, everyone is watching to see what we will do. They know that they need to be an example to others. Does this put pressure on them? Absolutely. A little pressure is good sometimes. I want them to glorify Jesus, even if we are sitting in a sub shop or walking through a Walmart.
I have taken all ten to the doctor {not always, but often}. All ten have gone to the dentist. Yes, we fill up the waiting room. Yes, we often get looked at like we are crazy. But, this is our life. This is our family. And we have to still do all of the things other families have to do. Sometimes that means all of us. No matter where we are , there is always an opportunity for our children to practice good behavior and an opportunity to be a light in this world.
When people see us, the message I hope they receive is that children are a blessing. So often in today's world, children are seen as a burden. They are not valued or desired. My prayer is that when we walk into a room, people's hearts will be changed. They will see that we value LIFE. And that life's greatest blessing is children. It is more important than ever that we share this message. I am willing to take the staring, criticism, and comments to share our treasures with the world. Because you just never know who is watching and who's heart may be forever changed just be us being visible.
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